


I bow my head (and think of home)

by SurpassingMorning



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Chinese New Year, Flashbacks, Gen, Historical Hetalia, Homesickness, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Post-World War II, Racism, Running Away, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 07:02:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15552264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurpassingMorning/pseuds/SurpassingMorning
Summary: There's only so long one can endure homesickness before they snap. Whether it is worth taking into his own hands, Siu doesn't know anymore.





	1. 一

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when a stream of consciousness exercise gets out of hand...
> 
> Thanks to gnostic-heretic for betaing my fic and answering my inane questions haha
> 
> Title is taken from Quiet Night Thoughts by Li Bai

It starts innocently enough.

Siu comes home with a bag of cheap chicken legs he bought from the butcher. After all, he’s tired of listening to Alfred whining about not being able to eat ‘real’ meat because of this damned war (but it's over, it's over, and he can go home soon), and eating Arthur’s bland, borderline inedible cooking. It’s a win-win situation; Alfred will get his damn ‘real’ meat, Arthur will stop grumbling, and Siu can finally do something about that millstone in his heart.

(He should have been home today of all days)

He reaches his temporary home - an ugly brick house with a brown tiled roof and a green door. The heavy feeling lightens up a little when he walks inside; the tiny front hall, cramped with small furniture and knick knacks, is like the one in his home.

Arthur and Alfred are in the kitchen; as usual, Alfred’s putting off his maths homework and Arthur’s brewing another cup of tea. They don’t look up until Siu places the bag of chicken feet on the counter and coughs.

Arthur’s the first to ask, “What did you do this time, Leon?”

Why does it always sound like an accusation?

“I bought meat,” he replies.

There’s the sound of slippers scruffing against the tiled floor, and Arthur’s looming behind him, his eyes alight with judgement.

“That’s not meat,” Arthur says, peering into the bag. “It’s...ergh.”

_No more than those ‘roof rabbits’ were, _Siu thinks. _But you still ate them - skin and bones and all. And you think _I’m _a savage. _______

_____ _

“Lemme see!”

_____ _

Siu barely has any time to react before a flash of yellow and grey shoves him off to the side. He’s pretty sure he’s bruised his back against the hard counter, but no one would care anyways.

_____ _

(Crying is a weakness anyways, he’s told. Who told him, Siu can’t remember)

_____ _

Alfred (it’s him, it’s always him) takes one look at the open bag before he mimes puking into the sink.

_____ _

“Gross,” he sneers. His eyes are alight, but not in the same ‘warm’ light Siu is so used to seeing. “Why’d ya try to feed us this shit?”

_____ _

Arthur scowls and smacks Alfred upside the head. “Don’t swear!” is all he says.

_____ _

How typical. Siu blinks once, then twice.

_____ _

_It’s the Lunar New Year, _he tells himself. _Be good, just for a few hours. For the sake of your future fortune. _____

________ _ _ _ _

“I thought you wanted real meat for once,” he states.

________ _ _ _ _

Alfred stares at him, as if he were a mangy stray dog on the streets. “That’s not real meat, idiot.”

________ _ _ _ _

“Now, you mustn't be so harsh Alfred-” Arthur begins.

________ _ _ _ _

Was he dreaming? Was Arthur really standing up for him?

________ _ _ _ _

“-given his homeland, he doesn't know any better.”

________ _ _ _ _

And there it is.

________ _ _ _ _

(He should have known better than to dream)

________ _ _ _ _

__________

***

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Take deep breaths. ___

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Siu watches as the ship pulls into harbour, where a dull coloured crowd of people wait. He dislikes England already; it’s too cold and quiet for his taste. ___

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_But maybe he’s being too picky. At least in England he can wake up every morning without the fear of dying. Or so Yao says. ___

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_It seems like forever before he’s able to disembark with shaking legs. A sea of people stretch out before him, all dressed in dour, long coats. He’s glad Yao insisted on only packing Western clothes; he’d feel out of place otherwise. ___

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Excuse me, are you Leon Wong?” ___

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Leon? Who’s- ___

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Ah. ___

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Siu turns around, to find a man with ugly millipede like brows and a young looking boy with glasses. He vaguely recognizes the man as Arthur Kirkland from Yao’s blurry school photos. He’s an acquaintance of his brother, and his guardian for the next couple years of his life. He doesn’t know who the boy is, but Siu already feels dislike in him; the boy is gawking at Siu now like some zoo animal. ___

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I...I am Leon Wong,” he says, slowly. It takes all his effort to not trip up on the ‘L’ in ‘Leon’. Did he say it right? ___

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The boy sniggers. ___

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Brat. ___

______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Arthur remains expressionless. ___

________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I am Arthur Kirkland, your caretaker,” he says curtly. He nudges the boy’s shoulders. “And this is-” ___

__________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Al-fred Jo-nes,” the boy recites. “It is ni-ce to me-et y-ou.” ___

____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Alfred pronounces each syllable of his name so slowly, as if Siu was a simple child. Siu feels his left eye twitch a little, and his fingers curling into a fist. ___

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Arthur, on the other hand, merely rolls his eyes and says, “Shall we get going?” There’s no time for a response before Arthur turns swiftly on his heels and begins to walk briskly with Alfred hot on his heels. Siu follows along, until he remembers - ___

________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I!” he blurts out. “I thank you for caring about me.” ___

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Arthur stops and stares, one eyebrow raised. ___

____________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“It’s ‘Thank you for taking care of me’,” he says. Without missing a beat, he resumes walking. ___

______________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Siu has to run to catch up. ___

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________________________________________

***

Arthur snatches up the bag right away, holding it away from himself as if it was plague ridden.

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Toss it.” He all but throws the bag at Siu. He misses, and it lands in a squishy heap at his feet. “We don't put garbage on the counter.”

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A strange impulse takes over him. “There is no need to be picky,” he snaps. “Given where I come from, you are lucky.”

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Now, listen,” Arthur says. He's seething now, discarding all sense of ‘decorum’ he had loved to lecture Siu and Alfred about. “I have looked after you for four years, and I demand respect.”

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You’re supposed to respect your elders - isn't that what _your _culture demands?” Alfred adds. He’s completely divorced from the atmosphere, as usual.__

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“And it also demands elders show kindness to the younger generation,” Siu counters, his eyes narrowed. He’s glad that Yao’s lectures have been useful, for once. “But I am, like, surprised you bothered to know this.”

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m not that stupid!” Alfred blurts out. Siu wonders if Alfred realises he had just insulted himself - then again, that seems unlikely.

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“So why do you assume I am?” he asks quietly. “Is it because I am not from here? Or perhaps because we speak different language?”

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I would rather you not put words in my mouth, Leon,” Arthur spits out through gritted teeth.

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You can hide all your words, but not your actions.” Siu points out.

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Arthur’s face turns an ugly cinnabar red.

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“This is your last warning, Leon,” he all but snaps. “Either you respect me as your caretaker and guardian, _or you get out of my house. _”__

____________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

With those words, the millstone falls from his chest.

____________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“And I thought you would never allow me to,” Siu says calmly. His head is airy and spinning wildly, and it takes all his self control not to stumble as he turns his back on Arthur and Alfred and all but sprints to the door, because he’s free, finally free from this oppressive, gilded cage. He’s free to see Hong Kong again, to go home to Yao and his siblings, to put these horrible six years behind -

____________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

At the door, he pauses and adds, “And I thank you for caring about me.”

____________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

***

Siu flees through the frost covered streets, ice crunching beneath his shoes. It’s cold, so, so cold, but he doesn’t care. He hates this street, this city, this whole damn country and he wants to go home _now _, the way he does be damned.__

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He’s still dizzy and floating and shaking when he finally stops and looks around.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It’s a train yard.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Siu laughs. Even if his head is obscured by anger and frustration, his body still knows he wants to go home.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He walks along the pebbled ground and the rails, dull and rusty from years of use. Several trains are idling around, their monstrous forms looming over him darkly, like demons.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

One train catches his attention. It’s next to a station, abuzz with activity, and Siu wonders if this was his way out.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It didn't matter where it went, right? As long as he was out of this rotten city, where he was strangled and blotted out until he nearly became a shadow of himself -

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

No one would miss one orphaned Chinese boy anyways. Least of all, Arthur.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He knows it's utter madness. But madness is borne from desperation, is it not?

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He leaps on, just as the train pulls out of the yard.

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. 二

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I had to split this apart because of ao3 -_-

His knees are beginning to stiffen. Siu sucks in his cheeks as he tries to bend them a little, just to alleviate the pain. London is far behind him, replaced with navy colored skies and inky black silhouettes. He could almost pretend he’s in a painting, like that one hapless scholar; he could be in a fantasy world where _something _goes his way.__

____

The wind picks up, so Siu lowers his head, pressing his brow against the cool metal.

____

You’re so close, he thinks. So, so close. Just endure it a little more...

____

***

____

_I could jump. ___

______ _ _

Siu looks down. It’s almost as if the entire world has dissolved into the night, leaving him to speed along the darkness to his death -

______ _ _

But he can’t die yet -

______ _ _

***

______ _ _

He’s well beyond any familiar places now.

______ _ _

_I_ need _to jump._

But his palms are frozen onto the rails.

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

__

***

No matter how fast the train travels, it can’t escape the moon’s silent gaze. Siu wishes it can, because the brightness strains his eyes and rays seem to sear his skin, both warm and freezing at once.

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

Today should have been one day he’s never away from home, and the moon is a painful reminder of his failure.

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

__

***

Yao had pushed up his bangs once and declared that since he had a high forehead, Siu was surely destined to live in a faraway land.

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

And Siu had laughed and said that was stupid, because he'd live nowhere but here in Hong Kong, surrounded by his brothers and sisters.

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

But now it came true. Was he fated to die here as well?

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

He wonders how Yao feels about his prediction.

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

__

***

He can't die yet! Not before he see his family one more time -

____

_________ _ _ _ _ _

____

_You ruined that chance, didn't you? ___

____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

__

***

How many hours have passed? One? Five?

____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

Arthur might be worried about him now. He might even be out there, looking for him.

____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

Siu pauses, and laughs.

____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

__

***

It’s utterly surreal, like something out of a favourite novel of his - Miyazawa, wasn't it? Kiku had given to him as a gift, before everything had gone up in flames and turned into this...

____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

( _But you are not Giovanni. Nor will you be able to return home. ___

____

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

_There's no one to guide you, after all _)__

____

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____


	3. 三

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third part! This one was kinda a bitch to post...

Siu Gong dreams.

***

_He's climbing rooftops with Mei. The Qixi festival has arrived, and the streets are alight with activity, as tense as it is. It’s a muggy, humid night, heat wrapping around him like a heavy blanket. The smell of fried meats and stinky tofu and smoke drift up; he’s glad he had already eaten. ___

____

_“Aren't you afraid we’ll get caught?” she asks, once they reach the top. ___

______ _ _

_“No,” he says quickly, truthfully. “I don't care. I just want to see the princess meet her cowherd one last time. Before I go.” ___

________ _ _ _ _

_“Siu…” ___

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Mei makes a tsk-ing noise and sits down next to him. The moon and stars shine brightly over them, the white stark against the ink black sky. ___

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Hey, Siu? Can I tell you a secret?” Mei asks. He’s barely got time to answer before she leans in. ___

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I -” ___

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

***

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Siu’s in a fucked up version of Journey to the West, and he’s Sun Wukong, only with all of his audacity and none of his skill.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

(Guanyin probably won't help him either, and he thinks he deserves it)

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

***

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He’s so cold -

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

( _I’d give anything to feel the sun again _)__

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

***

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He’s on a rocky trail now, with the afternoon sun beating down relentlessly on his skin. His throat is dry, strangling him inside out as he tries to forage on. ___

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Aiyah, silly piggy. Didn't I tell you to drink more water? See, you're straining yourself now.” ___

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He looks up. Yao’s standing a few paces behind him. Despite that, his elder brother is somehow able to tower over him, as usual. ___

________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I told you to quit calling me that.” Siu grumbles and wipes his forehead. ___

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Yao laughs, and holds out his canteen. “It's the truth, little brother. Here, you can drink the rest of mine while we walk - it’s only a minute more anyways.” ___

____________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Siu rolls his eyes, but accepts the canteen anyways. He follows Yao up the winding path, and then - ___

______________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Oh. ___

________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Hong Kong Island seems to explode across the land with buildings and ships and people, and even Kowloon is impressive. The sun has begun to dip below the horizon, bringing out brilliant streaks of purple and orange and pinks in the sky and sea. It’s impossibly cozy, for all it’s faults, and if Hong Kong were to become enshrined in its own little world, Siu wouldn't mind too much. ___

__________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Yao walks over and stands beside him, his chest puffed up with pride. “Well?” he asks. “What do you think?” ___

____________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I…” he begins, but Siu has no words. ___

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Hong Kong stretches out before him, seemingly bright and vibrant and endless, and Siu wonders if this is what it’s like to be a god. ___

________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

***

________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_You're a horrible son and brother. ___

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He is, isn't he? An ungrateful boy, throwing away his family’s hard earned sacrifices for his safety for a vapid impulse…

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He’s broken so many promises.

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Haha…

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Confucius must be beside himself in the afterlife now.

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

***

__________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Psst! Siu. Siu. Siu! Siu Kong Wong! Big brother! Hey, Siiiiiuuuuuu-” ___

____________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“What?” Siu snaps. The bundle of hell money he’s tying up falls apart, scattering bills all over the floor. ___

______________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Aiye, it’ll be a pain to clean up. ___

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Yong Soo, oblivious (or ignoring; with Yong Soo, he could never tell) to Siu’s plight, beams and holds out a hell money crane. ___

__________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Ta-dah! I have finally become a master of origami, da-ze!” ___

____________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Siu stares at him. Even after all these years, Yong Soo’s thought process is still a mystery to him. ___

______________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“...Like, don't blame me if the ghosts come after you,” he says before he tries to gather up the bills from the floor. ___

________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Ah, you're no f-” Yong Soo isn't able to finish his sentence, because at that moment, Yao had entered the room and smacked his head with a newspaper. ___

__________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Wae! Have you two been slacking off again?” ___

____________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

***

____________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

What hell will he be assigned to? The east? The west? Whichever one it is, it’ll be a long time before he’s cleansed of his guilt.

____________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And when the time comes, he’ll gratefully drink Old Lady Meng’s soup of forgetfulness. 

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(He’s glad his family will have to do the same)

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***

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“I'm sorry,” he whispers, but the unborn sounds are torn apart by the wind.

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( _Ah…_

__

_I’m so tired _)__

__


	4. 四

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part!

If he closes his eyes, he can pretend the spots in his eyes are stars, and he’s flying across the universe, _and he’s going home. ___


End file.
